Ever experience some knowledge or understanding that shakes a current or long-held belief system into a pile of rubbish?
Well thats happening again, and as time presses onward I feel these shifts happening more frequently and with more ferocity than the ones before.
When I say “ferocity” let me assure you that my life isn’t being thrown into a tailspin. I might have a few days where I may not want to talk. I’ll avoid stepping outside and all forms of human interaction as much as possible. It’s not to be rude – its an act of “self preservation” on behalf of the ego. Cognitive dissonance is occurring as the ego is threatened by the death of the old paradigm (which ego is attached to) and wants to shut down any further learning and perseverance the higher self is doing. This is happening in order for ego to maintain its own existence.
The exact opposite happens too, where I’m experiencing life entirely in the present moment from the perspective of my so-called “higher self”. I’m blissed out and joyful and want to hug and kiss the complete strangers I pass on the street and the clerks in the grocery store. Either way, nothing sways me into a depressive-reactive state anymore. Perhaps I’ve just gotten “good” at these shifts. Or maybe it’s because I have been practicing ceremonial magick for 3 years.
Sometimes though, as my higher self is ascending, I just want to keep the momentum going. Thats usually when I don’t answer my phone, or timely reply to messages, or even be helpful when we’re making a plan. I could also just be in a meeting, or in the subway, or using the bathroom.
Enormous gratitude to all those who stay patient with me. The missed phone calls, my inability to be specific about a plan. Your willingness to meet me “somewhere on the east side of the street between the high 60s and the low 70s between 12:30 and 1”. My faithful cat who loves to come between me and the computer while typing these things.