Felt pretty compelled and excited to complete a watercolor drawing today. Unfortunately – I have the wrong pencils.

I accidentally picked up regular colored pencils instead of watercolor pencils at the store a few weeks ago. I don’t own proper watercolors. Gave those away along with all traditional art supplies soon after graduating college. Fortunately I’m still within the 30 day window for exchanges and returns. This minor inconvenience threw my whole energy system and demeanor into frustration. What a waste of time and energy.

I quit traditional art the second I finished college and here’s some reasons why:

• I went to art school. While valuable – there is no better way to burn yourself out than to have a perfectionist mindset and a limited amount of time. Often misunderstanding the assignment didn’t help either. For what ever reason in almost every class I never quite did the assignment as prescribed or intended by the professor. I had no idea I was doing this till I overheard a friend talking to another student about a painting I had done:

Student: “What the hell is that?”

Friend: “Oh. She misunderstood the assignment. Again.”

Student: “Oh. Yeah.”

This happened a lot in high school non-art related classes. For an advanced history class I had to type up a paper about the Cuban Missile Crisis. It was required to be ridiculously long (10+ pages), so I fluffed it up a bit with some information about Kennedy. I received failing marks. Failing marks for the added fluff about Kennedy was understandable – but I did not have any idea what was wrong with the Cuban Missile Crisis stuff. This was a history class. In hindsight it probably required some kind of opinion on my part – which I couldn’t provide without having one in the first place.

Another thing that ruined art for me was:

• Rude people. My ex’s best friend was outwardly and obnoxiously critical of my art. I was emotionally and energetically vulnerable at the time – young and with no concept of spirituality yet. He must have received a pretty good emotional-energetic boost for each insult because over time his actions would be more grandiose in nature.

There is no good reason to put down another person’s art or creation. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep looking at it. You can walk away, close your eyes, turn your head, or simply close the internet browser you’re staring at. There are several easy ways to end your visual discomfort without affecting anybody.

Should you continue to keep looking at others for what is wrong… perhaps that is saying something about you.

There will be no watercolor drawing today.

But here’s a picture!


Frozen pond Central Park. January 2017.


2 Comment on “Art Burnout

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