My friends – I am really proud of you. Proud to see you continually growing, challenging yourselves, etc. You have brought awareness to your anxieties – and not only stayed at awareness – but dug deeper to get to the root.
Crazy thing – sometimes there is another root to dig to. Then another.
Sidebar. I was just looking for a picture to add to this post and came across the above passage from a book.
I have been learning about the cycles our world goes through. There are cycles that are so large we don’t even have an awareness of them – we are just in it. There are also cycles that are significantly smaller – like the four seasons of the year.
There are patterns in our modern world.
The patterns I am drawing more attention to are the ones that make up my private life. The obvious ones are the monthly cycles that come with being a woman. There’s a financial cycle that I go through where I’m usually deeply in debt during the colder months, and financially abundant while its warm out. There are cycles of dating – I might date if a period of peace has been established for a lengthy amount of time. When that ends – I don’t attempt dating for a minimum of one year.
I have cycles with some friendships too. Sometimes I will welcome an old friend into my life. Things will be wonderful, then something will be said or done that upsets me deeply on the energetic level. I slowly but surely remove myself from being in their life. Until I bring them in again that is, years later, hoping for a different outcome.
I partake in ridiculous Tuesday and Thursday cycles. Oddly enough – all my life – these have traditionally been the busiest days. Subconsciously making them my least favorite. In college these were the days when I had the most classes, the least amount of breaks, and the longest shifts at work.
Nowadays are quite similar with different circumstances – I work, do the spiritual practice morning and night, travel to Brooklyn for gym, come home exhausted and feeling sort of sorry for myself. Dread posting, but post. Return back to the feeling of accomplishment that exists as I’m leaving the gym for the night.